RDR, CRR, CBC, CCP . . . AAA?

The following is the Cliff Notes version of certification programs offered by the National Court Reporters Association:

RDR:  Registered Diplomate Reporter.  Highest level of certification a reporter can achieve.

CRR:  Certified Realtime Reporter.  Tests areas of knowledge and skills necessary to perform the duties of a realtime reporter.

CBC:  Certified Broadcast Captioner.  Tests areas of knowledge necessary to perform the duties of a broadcast captioner.

CCP:  Certified CART Provider.  Tests areas of knowledge necessary to perform the duties of a CART (Communication Access Realtime Translation) provider for the hard of hearing.

and

AAA.  The American Automobile Association.  No, that’s no mistake.

Interrupting my train of thought earlier this week was a phone call from my better half.  “Can you come pick me up and take me to a gas station?  We ran out of gas.”  You have got to be kidding.  No such luck.  Turns out, they knew they were nearing empty, but because he and his helper were talking the whole way home, they passed every gas station exit on I-95.

After much discussion back and forth, I decided to bring a container of gas to him rather than running back and forth. Mind you, in all my years of living and driving, I have NEVER filled up a gasoline container.  I bet you can see where this is heading.

I run up to the gas station, take off the container lid and the hole is not big enough for the gasoline nozzle.  I go inside and get a funnel.  I then go outside and the funnel is still too large for the opening.  Lucky for me, the man at the station beside me says, “Do you need help?”  YES, there is a God!  I say, “Oh, this is not for me, it’s for my better half.”  He replies, “Don’t feel bad, I ran out of gas this morning.”  Must be a full moon somewhere.

So off I go, and none too soon because my phone started ringing. “Where are YOU??”,  he says.  I replied, “I can see you right up the road.” So we do our exchange right there in the median of a major highway (in spite of the median signs warning us not to), and off we go.

When he gets home a half hour later he says, “Thank you, honey.  You saved our you know whats.  From now on you’re Rita G. Meyer, RDR, CRR, ABC, XYZ, AAA!”  What a funny guy.